“all i want is money, i don’t have time for friends”
is what she said. then there she was, with him.
ever seen a flower ready to bloom?
this was her once.
6years i regret my cowardice.
of that night, i barely remember.
yes. we were forged in secret.
hearts connected. gypsys of the night,
i remember tampa.
the sadness you had, when you went from his bed to my couch.
nights of plundering; the world for joy.
learning to ride longboards stolen by the neighbour.
yes i was a thief. so were you.
sally, running from nightshade.
we took halloween town.
forged an alliance at youth. to be there
forever keeping the backs of each other.
i drank too much. i said things from whiskey, out of jealousy.
all a game.
wiggle, tap, tap.
every show you loved i watched.
inside and out. similar our souls danced,
i saw you smile. really smile.
pulled stop signs out of the ground when you argued,
or got trapped by strings.
i thought i was jack.
run away, we would. it took every courage to tell you what i felt.
i messed it up.
i brought you smiles.
i brought you smiles.
then you chose him, and him.
i never used a negative word. the love was unconditional,
as real as the onions we stole to eat,
the wine i took to sleep,
then i left you to him and him.
scars upon scars.
i paid your bills. lies building lies,
i can blame him but can i blame me too? or you.
for the scars. for being left alone with a broken collar bone.
a hammer was in my head, to destroy this him.
instead i chose to use words, buy shoes,
make you feel loved.
do your school, even though you left it for him,
told the world your family abandoned you,
when you just fluttered back,
implosion. after 6years of helping from a distance.
standing 6 hours in the rain.
with flowers, you chose not to take.
was it fear? i became a pariah,
when i tried to show you how a man treats a woman.
now the circle is complete.
back to the scars,
i left with nightmares.
the more i gave the worst you treated me.
i guess thorns grew from the scars,
perseus i wanted to reclaim it all,
instead i was
prometheus stealing the fire itself, anyway,
with everything i could give
to let you bloom.
now you are crushed.
real. inside and out.
sally, i wish i had been a better jack.
i tried, almost died,
but regardless of the injustice.
regardless of the loss,
i still love, and wish and dream,
for the flower to bloom.
to know that you smile. that hidden garden of
lips likes vines that can change a mans heart.
i wait in silence. but my feet must move forward.
there are other flowers waiting to bloom.